The main fear
The main fear I’m holding in terms of my mother’s pending death is not so much the death itself, painful as that will be. No, the main fear is the ongoing absence of her from my life.
It may sound terrible, but I’ve always had an easier time talking to my mom than my dad. I love them both, but I’m closer to my mom because I can talk to her more openly.
While Dad is still with us, once Mom is gone, one of my main security blankets in life goes with her. The fact is that she’s always been one of the people I can call and talk to when life isn’t making sense.
That’s the biggest fear. That in the weeks, months and years that follow her passing, there will be days, or nights, when I wake up wanting to call Mom… and realize, I can’t anymore.
(And here when I was a kid, I thought acne treatment was my biggest fear.)
Tags: acne treatment, calling Mom, main fear
