Have you ever had your head sat on in a swimming pool?

I have. It was terrifying. I was probably not much older than eight and my sister, who did the sitting, was probably around five. I can’t remember a lot about how or why it occured; all I remember was the sensation of being sat on, with only water around me, and being suddenly terrified of drowning.

I kicked and struggled but she wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, by instinct, I did the only thing I could think of that seemed like it might work.

I opened my mouth, taking in a bit of water in the process, and bit her. Right on the rump.

She screamed, but she leaped off me and I survived.

It sounds silly and maybe even a little funny in retrospect, but the fear I felt in those few moments was real enough. Believe me, it’s not funny when someone treats your head like one of her pool toys.